How I envision the Japanese animation studios

Here’s a blurb from the mind of Yamcha just for fun. Let’s imagine that the anime studios can be portrayed as students in a high school setting. You can probably see where this is going. The following list is how I envision the studios with more humanized characteristics that reflect the series they have done. I know there are way more studios than what’s here, but I decided to only get the big ones. We can consider the small fries just that.

Bee Train - A geek that’s obsessed with yuri pairings. Tends to explain things in a long, drawn out fashion that ultimately leads back to square one or nowhere at all. Popular with his fellow nerds. May have a doll fetish.

BONES - A likeable fellow that is usually successful with an occasional setback here or there. I envision BONES as a surfer/skater because Eureka 7 was their most memorable work to me.

Gainax - The pervert that’s obsessed with constantly trying to sneak a peek into the girl’s locker room. Insists on still doing things old-school. Probably types on an Apple II and plays Atari 2400 games in his free time. Will constantly remind people of his greatest success and constantly try to revive it at least three times a year.

Gonzo - Joins Gainax in trying to peek in the girl’s locker room. I see him as a novelist that starts a story strong but always cops out on the ending.

J.C. Staff - The tsundere girl that lives next door. She has the power to make revolution but would rather make you shut up, shut up, shut up by groin stomping you.

Kyoto Animation - A drop-dead bombshell that while absolutely gorgeous, loves to brag and talk about herself constantly. She will constantly make references to herself whenever possible. Likes to do weird dances in her spare time.

Madhouse - A popular jack-of-all trades girl. Probably goes to raves. While successful for the most part, she hides a dark secret that she would rather forget (I’ll give you a hint. The series starts with R and ends with -eign).

Production I.G. - Tech guy that is into the latest and greatest technology, gadgets, and computers. No one understands him but that’s okay because he’s stylish and drives a Tachikoma to school.

Shaft - That smarmy art kid that sits in the back of class and makes fun of everyone including himself. He is well liked by the out crowd and social outcasts.

Studio Ghibli - Uber chick magnet and master of the one night stand (Because movies only require a short time commitment). May secretly be a furry and/or lolicon. Regardless, the ladies will always love him. Smokes out on the weekend.

Studio Pierrot - Toei’s sidekick. While he has had his successes, he has fallen into a bad crowd lately. He’ll save his budget for months, blow it all in one day, and then recycle frames where applicable.

Sunrise - The popular bishounen jock of the class. Gives wedgies to Gainax whenever possible. He used to be cool but now he’s just a poseur. The unrivaled master of recycling and reusing stock footage over and over again.

Toei - The guy that everyone has tried to emulate ever since the early days. He used to be immensely popular but has fallen off the radar lately. Now he just sits around trying to one-up Kyoto Animation only to fail.

XEBEC - Production I.G.’s lackey that follows him around doing his bidding ala Hokuto’s lackey from Cromartie High.