That’s never really a question you ever think to ask yourself. It’s perfectly normal to assume the ride will last forever, and it does until . . . Well, I’m not quite sure which show it was, but I just remember the ride ending.

“I’m done.”

Call it an awakening or a revelation, even an epiphany. Really, all I knew was I hit wall and just burnt out. Though what struck me was I didn’t know why it happened.

Now, I’ll tell ya, anime was good – heck! It was like a drug I didn’t wanna quit! Every episode was a rush and as soon as it was over I loaded up another hit. My hard-drive was devoted to anime; stills, clips, sound bites, doujin, wallpaper, desktop themes. If it was anime or came from Japan I had to have it. Yet once I hit that peak none of it meant anything anymore. So, one bitter day I purposely formatted away that eight year otaku binge.

“Why?”

Well, for a while afterwards I wondered about the reasons why it all stopped turning me on. Yet for the most part I realized I never gave myself a reason as to exactly why I enjoyed the stuff in the first place. I consumed it without conscience.

I still remained a somewhat studious fan afterwards and followed along the wave of the culture tide. I went back on and off the wagon like every recovering addict. I went back just to taste, but the potency just wasn’t as strong as I remember–as I thought it should be. Something must have been wrong with me, clearly. Or maybe not. Perhaps it wasn’t me at all and that it was anime with the problem. Maybe anime just stopped being as good as it use to be? It was too crazy to think.

The times kept changing; Anime-Turn Pike got sold off, Ex.org closed, fanfiction.net became just noise, and Mixx changed to Tokyopop then soon after ceased publication. I remember hearing once about the slow death of the anime industry  in Japan. Again, it’s been so long I can’t recall who said it, but there was claim that anime, becoming too expensive to produce in light of a declining economy, was on the verge of collapsing. At the time I thought that was absurd. Its mainstream popularity in the states was growing day by day. How could it be dying?

“And it didn’t die . . . didn’t it?”

It was during that abstaining period when I remember that article, then things made sense suddenly. Anime had died and I watched it happen.

Having been use to the good stuff–the stuff that built anime into the style it’s defined by–I couldn’t handle anything less. It wasn’t that single show that clean put me off, it was the gradual dissension of quality over time; the quality of animation, of art, of acting, of story, of substance and meaning. All of these degraded, ever so slowly, until it was too late for anyone to distinguish between stellar and crap.

How could this happen? That’s another story for another time, but take note! There are instances when a show really stands out from the crowd. Ones that push the boundaries in all areas. When something like that comes along take notice because that’s what turned us all on in the first place. A great show reminds us why anime really is in a class all its own.

But don’t try convincing yourself that something is good because of a played gimmick or thinking the show will be better once it picks up. When will that “pick up” be?

In the 3rd episode?

The 7th episode?

13th episode?

Second season?

But why should you even? Because I believe your time is too precious to spend waiting for that metaphorical handjob. Become critical in what you watch, and watch for the sake of knowing that it’s good, not just because it “fills the requirement.”

You know when something is bad and you should put trust in your instincts. And if you still are hesitant, then take a note from someone more badass than I am and “don’t believe in yourself! Believe in me, who believes in you!”

This entry was posted on Friday, July 3rd, 2009 at 1:31 pm and is filed under Otaku, Rants.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.